Sunday, December 11, 2011

A solution

90% taxation.

All income, no matter the source, should be taxed at 90%. In the distant past there was this big pile of money that belonged to everyone. Then some bad, evil, greedy people ran up to this pile and took more than their "fair share." The only way that we can get back to fairness is to take all of the money and put it back in that pile. This time we will post guards around the pile so that unauthorized people don't run in and take more than their "fair share." Think of all the jobs that will be created. We will need a lot of guards.

Don't worry about not having enough money, being permitted to keep only 10% of your income, because there won't be any food to buy. Nobody could afford to produce so there won't be anything to purchase. That being the case you won't be needing that 10% either so hand that over. More jobs will be created buy having to hire people to take the rest of the 10%.

A few problems will arise, like people starving for example, but those can be solved by forcing people to produce. More jobs will be created by having to hire people to force other people to produce. A new problem comes up when we can't produce at a price that people can afford. So we can then require the forced producers to simply keep their prices low so that people can get their "fair share."

In the end, the producers, the guards, and the consumers will all work for the government. We will only need a Department of Production to monitor the forced producers on government farms and in government factories, a Department of Guards to monitor and direct the government guards and enforcers, and a Department of Consumption to make sure that people are consuming enough and a enough of the right stuff at the right time.

We will most likely need a Department of Prisons so that we can remove those that fail the system. The system cannot fail, only treasonous people fail the system. We will have to have a gulag to send them to. I suggest Kansas. Think of all the jobs that will be created by having to hire all those people to staff and work for the Department of Prisons.

About the pile of money. We can't just divide it equally amongst all the people that live here. They can't be trusted to use it correctly and we don't really have any idea of how much money is out there so we can't give out an equal share to everyone. What we can do though is determine how much you need. Then we give that to you.

What do you really need? Some food, a shelter, some water, and maybe some clothing. To make sure that you are not a burden on the system by have clothing that is too expensive (that might make you seem better than the next guy) we are going to issue jumpsuits to everyone. All other clothing is not permitted. If found wearing other clothing you are deemed an enemy of equality (this is where the Department of Prisons comes in). The jumpsuit is "enough" clothing.

Shelter, you will have "enough." To make sure that we are all equal and fair the shelter will be a single room for each member of your family plus a kitchen and living room. Of course there is the problem of some families being bigger than others. To remedy this inequality all families will be limited to one man and one woman (the way Gawd intended it) and two children. More children or less children is unequal and will make you an enemy of equality and fairness. (Again the Department of Prisons will be useful).

Water, you will be issued your daily ration at your government mandated job. You will consume all of it. Over-consumption of water is unfair. Under-consumption of water is a terrorist attempt to unbalance the system. Department of Prisons, you already have the jumpsuit.

Food, you will be issued the perfectly balanced diet. You will voluntarily agree to comply by consuming every bit of the perfectly balanced diet. Over- or under-consumption are enemies of equality. There is a slight problem with food and water. Not every current metabolism or body requires the same amount of calories and water. To remedy this inequality all adults will be required to weigh the same and be of the same height. Body fat content between men and women will have to equalized to get rid of that inequality. Drugs will have to be introduced to control or inhibit growth for those criminals who attempt to be too tall.

The cash again. The cash is just too clumsy. Here is your card. It will be loaded with precisely the fair amount. To make life easier for you the card will also serve as your driver's permit (remember it is a privilege to drive), your medical card, your library card (no worries, all offensive books have been taken care of), and your Blockbuster card.

No comments:

Post a Comment